91191

Joke of the Day

"Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wake up with stinky fingers. Just remembered this from when I was 13"

"Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#."

"Yo mamma so fat... ...she doesn't jump, she pushes the earth away from her, and it falls back to her."

"Why is the new Brexit diet so popular? All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling."

"Two astronauts in the ISS... One says to the other, ""What's up?"" The other replies, ""Yeah, what?"" I'm pretty sure this is OC, I haven't see it else where."

"When I see Scary Spice now I can't help but think our fear threshold was much lower in the mid-90s"

"What did the little boy say to the priest? Haha, now we *both* have AIDS"

"What do you call Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game? Homogeneous."

"So Jared Fogle was actually reported to have been spotted at a local Macy's. He heard Boys pant were half off."

"*notices girl singing song that's on in coffee shop* Me: You're a Cher fan too!? Her: Hold on *takes off bluetooth* Her: What? *dies alone*"