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Joke of the Day

"My local feminist charity is hiring. I found their recruitment slogan to be a bit counterintuitive... ""Girl power needs manpower."""

"I own box sets of both the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises in case you were wondering if virginity can grow back."

"My keys always end up in the pocket opposite of my free hand."

"You know, I think Hitler was misunderstood. He didn't want to gas the Jews, he wanted a glass of juice."

"Asked an artist how he draws women so well. He says ""I have a day job."""

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's the ""R"" but it's really the ""C"". Happy talk like a pirate day!"

"What doesn't kill you......seriously disappoints me!"

"What do you call a bee in a space rocket? bracket"

"I wish I had a job where I could just punch stupid motherfuckers in the face all day."

"What is a pedophiles favorite Italian meal? Chicken Statutory....I'm going, I'm going...sorry but this is how my brain works before I've had coffee."