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Joke of the Day

"Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat."

"Welcome to night club. I know it's dark, but that's kinda the poi-- *metal screeching* Dammit Steve! I told you knight club is downstairs!"

"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny New York!"

"Have you ever heard a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Probably not. The P is silent."

"When it comes to distinguishing male genitalia from female genitalia... There's a Vas Deferens."

"I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!"

"I don't live in my mother's basement... I live in your mother's basement."

"Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere? Because they don't have legs to walk, man."

"I'll never set a book in the ancient Roman Empire again. Ben Hur, done that."

"What's a mexicans favorite sport? Cross country"