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Joke of the Day

"What's a mexicans favorite sport? Cross country"

"What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser? They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world."

"""Dad, why is my picture on that milk carton?"" ""Well, son, I guess it's time that I tell you the truth. You were adopted... from a dairy."""

"Im opening up a tattoo shop just for blind people. I wont really tattoo them. Ill just stab'em with a needle taped to a vibrator for an hour"

"are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]"

"How many Heros does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All, to save this world from the darkness."

"Want to leave a lasting impression? Show up three hours late for a first date."

"""Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now"" ""Emo? Nah yo, EMU"" ""Im confused.."" *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* ""Hi confused, Im Dad"""

"How does a Space Marine from Warhammer 40K get fit? By doing Squats."

"To save money, instead of going to the club, I just get drunk at home and yell ""what?"" into a mirror over and over."