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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl? A: There was a restraining order."

"What do you call a disembodied nose? Nobody nose. My 8-year-old niece claims she made this up. I have my doubts."

"Got pulled over by a cop, asking me if I knew how fast I was going No, I said - the speedometer only goes up to 240 km/h"

"I've started writing crossword puzzles for a national newspaper. The money is not great but It's allowed me to buy a little two up two down house."

"Why didn't the spaceship take off? Becuase it was astronauty"

"Since It's summer here's a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey"

"My son also calls crystal meth, ""Cwistal Math""! A-dorable! ;)"

"Uranus has been the butt of many jokes. It's the gassiest of all planets."

"What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker"

"What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use? Arab spring"