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Joke of the Day

"Since It's summer here's a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey"

"GF: ""you're so childish"" me: ""it's my day too linda"" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: ""so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"""

"It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine"

"A cannibal ate an optimist once He couldn't quite keep him down."

"How much do you pay to buy corn from a pirate? You pay a buccaneer."

"A girl went to the village shaman She asked him ""I saw a dog in my dream and he was licking my foot. What does it means?"" The shaman replied ""It means that your other half will come soon"""

"Mrs. Bigger liked telling everyone her newborn baby boy was a lot bigger than she was... But he was really just a little Bigger."

"I saw a sign on the highway that read ""End Road Construction."" And I was like, shit, the anti-road construction people are getting vocal."

"What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter."

"I told an ebola joke And only 50% died laughing."