178706

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my penis and a midget dressed as a mouse? Both are small and scare women away... :("

"If an idle mind is devil's workshop, what is its kitchen and toilet?"

"What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common? They were both catchers for the Padres."

"Nice try, private caller. I don't answer the phone if I know you either."

"ME: I'm off to that meeting BOSS: Forget something? M: Yes! [kisses boss gently on forehead] B: I meant your pen [whispers] but thank you"

"Why was the tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing."

"why do women wear makeup and perfume? They are ugly and they smell bad."

"Toaster are like gremlins for people who are on a diet or don't want to kill themselves. 1. Do not get wet 2. Do not feed after midnight"

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)"

"Relationships are a lot like algebra... Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"