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Joke of the Day

"I told my kids ""I slept like a baby last night, Woke up at 1am and fussed until your mom stuck a boob in my mouth."""

"Why can't you email a picture to a jedi? Because attachments are forbidden."

"It's better to have loved a short man than to never have loved a tall."

"""I'm independent"" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace."

"To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow."

"What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!"

"What do you call a female to male sex change? an addadicktomy."

"Why was 6 afraid of 9? Because 9 was still alive."

"13yo: Mom, I need 3 current issues happening in the neighborhood. Me: How abo- 11yo: WEAK WIFI, BUFFERING, BAD DATA PLAN! ..shoot me now."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.*"