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Joke of the Day

"Toaster are like gremlins for people who are on a diet or don't want to kill themselves. 1. Do not get wet 2. Do not feed after midnight"

"Nice try, resealable potato chip bags."

"What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ? Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !"

"What do you call a psychic on /b/? A 4Chan-Teller"

"Nothing freaks out people like unblinking eye contact in a public restroom. Especially when you do it from underneath the stall divider."

"For the holidays I've decided to stop making puns... I'm sure yule appreciate it."

"It's six. Six raccoons. Six raccoons is the amount of raccoons that will make me turn around and walk down a different street. Six."

"Guy runs into a bar, yells ""Quick! How tall is a penguin?"" Bartender says ""Three feet tall."" Guy says ""Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"""

"If Italian westerns are called Spaghetti Westerns,then what are Japanese ones called? Sushi Westerns"

"Today I saw a guy on the street wearing a ""Stop Snitching"" shirt I asked him where he got it. he wouldnt tell me."