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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'm off to that meeting BOSS: Forget something? M: Yes! [kisses boss gently on forehead] B: I meant your pen [whispers] but thank you"

"Mom. Dad. I like my coffee like I like my women. I don't like coffee. I'm gay."

"Such double standards. My wife sleeps with like 10 pillows and I don't get mad but when... I pull out my dakimakura she threatens with divorce."

"What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website? REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!"

"Why can't Mexico field a good Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is already here in the US."

"Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?? Because Freedom rings! Happy Birthday U.S!"

"New research shows that birthdays are good for your health Studies suggest that people with the most birthdays live the longest"

"I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers... but I Kant."

"""Instead of putting this away, I'll leave it right here for the next time I need it."" - Men"

"Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato? Signing the legal guardian paperwork"