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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"""holy crap....um guys?!"" - the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon"

"Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree? Ruff Bark"

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No eye deer (No idea) Q: What do you call a quadriplegic deer with no eyes? A: Still, no eye deer. (Still no idea)"

"Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need."

"Give a man a jacket He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house."

"Why did the spider cross the road? To get to his website!"

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it runs in your genes!"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Break that faggots spine."

"Why did the citizen run for Sewer Commissioner? He thought it was his civic doodie!"