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Joke of the Day

"Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need."

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"A ninja turdle is when you poop really fast."
"What's Harry Potters favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking! (JK ROLLING)"
"If Mcdonald's served hotdogs You could ask them to upsize your McWiener"
"Just did my first stand up comedy routine ever. AMA."
"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spit, swallow, gargle."
"Things men would rather do than work to raise testicular cancer awareness: eat a sandwich, watch sports, fight, die of testicular cancer."
"My wife said she wanted to have a space of her own in the house... I said, ""Of course, honey. Whatever makes you happy. From now on I'm not going to set foot in the kitchen."""
"How many lives does a Nazi cat have? Nein"
"I Thought having a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant... But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"