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Joke of the Day

"Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need."

"Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn't mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest."

"You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me."

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too."

"GOD: for this to work, I need them to feel love CUPID: how about I shoot them through the heart with an arrow? GOD: ur starting to worry me"

"How do you make a salad wrap? By adding some beets"

"My room + internet connection + music + food homework = perfect day."

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall!"

"Rhonda is my type of woman... She finishes before I do!"

"Made in ....... In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China."