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Joke of the Day

"a guy got an Interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$ Boss: welcome on board"

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"Why don't the Cubans have Olympic swimmers? Because they make it here."

"I'm tired.... I hear there is a nap for that."

"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""

"If I had a 1$ for every gender there was... I'd have 2 dollars."

"What do you call a polygon on viagra? An Erectangle"

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Keep calm and text a random number...""I'm pregnant"""

"Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York"