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Joke of the Day

"I'm bummed out because i was just diagnosed with alzheimer's at least I don't have alzheimer's"

"Look guys i thought a gangbang was where we all played drums together, i don't want any part of whatever's happening here"

"Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity."

"Tattooes turn an average man into a man to look twice at. If i see ink i know he can handle pain....and that works for me, cause I'm a pain."

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy. He'll let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"If you're attacking a paraplegic convention... Are you harming unarmed citizens?"

"There were three holes in the ground. Well, well, well."

"How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb To get to the other side"

"What's the first place Dora explored? The mexican border."

"*gets caught breaking into used car lot* *desperately attempts to blend in with inflatable arm flailing tube men*"