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Joke of the Day
"Why don't the Cubans have Olympic swimmers? Because they make it here."
Next Joke
"God damn auto correct... Always making me say things I didn't Nintendo"
"Why did the judge throw out Bram Stoker's lawsuit? His accusations weren't backed up by vampirical evidence"
"What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery? Force of habit."
"Y'know, I don't understand all the fuss about using 3D printers to make guns. I've had a Canon printer for years!"
"I was very naive sexually. My first girlfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months"
"Where do adolescent gangsters go? The childhood"
"I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng neck. I want to date a giraffe basically."
"What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...? Turkey"
"If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books."