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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a big plus."

"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."

"A snowstorm knocked out the power of a black man's house, so he went out to investigate. He's the only blackout in a whiteout."

"If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve... ....that would be a reservation reservation reservation -credit to Brian Regan"

"How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side."

"I was sitting in a bar... When a guy yells out, ""Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?"" She yelled back, ""Because I swallowed them all!"""

"Why is my penis nicknamed Johnny Depp? Because I pirate so many pornos. Edit: I don't know how to add the nsfw tag sorry."

"Children of ISIS have been complaining of the heat and the leaders didn't know what to do... lucky for them, they were able to recruit Italian ISIS. credit goes to Jerry Seinfeld for the idea."

"Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!"

"My New Years Resolution 4K"