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Joke of the Day
"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."
Next Joke
"""I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing."" ""That's me- totally normal!"" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*"
"[OC] where did the cavemen live? Neandertown!"
"""Well gentlemen... the steaks are high."" *two steaks giggle* ""Hehehe omfg he totally knows, man..."""
"I didn't understand why my wife bought me a metal detector for Valentines day... Until she told me she got her clit pierced."
"Which 20th Century Business tycoon was a top? The one who could really Rock-a-feller"
"I don't have to be attractive. I am an asshole. Women swarm to me."
"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?"
"Him: you watch too much Food Network Me: just enjoy your artisanal bread covered in a delectable berry compote Him: its toast and jelly"
"My favorite knock knock joke Knock knock: Who's there 9/11 9/11 who I thought you would never forget!!!"