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Joke of the Day

"Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!"

"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"

"""I think we should stab other people."" - Masochists breaking up"

"Every woman is wrong until she starts crying... Then she's right."

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"This girl reckons she met me at the vegetarian club But I've never met herbivore."

"Who's the fattest Knight at the round table? Why? Circumference. Because he ate too much pi."

"What's the difference between a civilian camp and an ISIS base? I don't know I just fly the drones"

"I don't need a hot tub, I prefer for a mildly attractive tub with a great sense of humor and a good job."

"Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios in his backyard? He thought they were donut seeds."