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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm OK"", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say ""You're not OK"" and hand me $10,000."

"Why did the Hipster burn his lip? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !"

"What do you call a stereotypical flan? A quiche"

"What does a self-conscious vampire say? ""I'm going to suck.."""

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"(first date) Me: *hyperventilating* Him: Don't be nervous. Take a deep breath. Me: Can't. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx."

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""

"the rugby players without a referee weren't keeping up with the news they kept asking ""whose put-in?"""

"A one-liner walks into a bar."