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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm OK"", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say ""You're not OK"" and hand me $10,000."

"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."

"Whoever invented ""copy and paste"" should never have to go more than 2 hours without someone's lips around his wiener."

"When is it too cold to build a snowman? When the frostbite is worse then the frostbark."

"Did you know that by today's standards Marilyn Monroe would be considered dead?"

"If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?"

"My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again."

"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."

"What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife? A midwife crisis."

"How can a person travel from the north pole to the south pole without passing the equator? By becoming a stripper."