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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road? There are skidmarks before the dog."

"""Tell me where the money is or else I kill the girl"" -just to be clear, if I don't tell you she dies but I get to live right?"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Yes ! Who is there! HortonHearsA Who !"

"A dyslexic walks in to a bra"

"Walk up to random strangers on the street and say, ""I love your podcast!"" You'll make 3 out of 5 of them very happy."

"Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar."

"What's worse than passing out and waking up after a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced."

"One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you."

"Apple recently changed the gun emoji into a water pistol emoji... Meanwhile Microsoft has just changed their toy blaster emoji into a real gun shots fired i guess"

"Political views are like children. Some people don't have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off."