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Joke of the Day

"One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you."

Next Joke
 
"Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18."
"Q: Where do mentally unstable trees go? A: The insane a-xylem."
"Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people."
"My Ex Girl Friend: you need to move on and forget about me. Me: how can I forget you when every time I go outside things remind me of you like garbage bins and dog shit."
"Chuck Norris isn't real... If he had been real, he would've come here and probably smash my head on my keyboarjfjcjcndndjxucbfjdi oejebhh jdudyehsbsj"
"Almost touched an old person tonight. Luckily I jerked my arm away before they could drain me of my youth and vigor."
"What do you call a bear with no teeth ? A gummy bear"
"In my experience there's two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way."
"What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus? I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton."
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