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Joke of the Day

"""Tell me where the money is or else I kill the girl"" -just to be clear, if I don't tell you she dies but I get to live right?"

"Do you like Asian Diplomacy jokes? I've been feeding the kids in my political science class a steady diet of Japanese Government jokes."

"My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar. I play a lot of single player."

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!"

"So sorry... Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say... Unless you're Chinese, then it's ""squirrel""."

"How can you tell if a woman is faking an orgasm? Who cares"

"What do the Egyptians call a man who cannot keep his opinions to himself? IMHOtep"

"What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common.....They both came in a little behind"

"Pro Tip: Make sure you're physically fit when arguing with a mime. They speak the language of the body."

"I heard George Michael choked on a chocolate bar Careless Wispa"