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Joke of the Day
"A son asks his old man... ""Dad, are you gay?"" ""Who told you? Was it your father?"""
Next Joke
"Save some a's for the rest of us, Aarons."
"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint"
"Redheaded guys know they can just dye their hair, right? They don't have to live like that."
"Home is where the heart is, and hopefully it's where all of the other vital organs reside too."
"Man, 2016 really has killed everybody: In November alone we lost Leonard Cohen, Florence Henderson... ...and America."
"*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son ""Ok"" What's the opposite of a hot dog ""Um...a cold cat?"" Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy"
"I got a little ass last night!... My finger went through the toilet paper!"
"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."
"[cashier training, day 1] ""Be sure to comment on everything a customer buys. They love that."""