200685

Joke of the Day

"*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son ""Ok"" What's the opposite of a hot dog ""Um...a cold cat?"" Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy"

"Stalin bragged that his death camps were better than Hitler's. Hitler responded, ""Jewish."""

"It's only fitting that God would be a woman... since space is a vacuum."

"My computer is a nympho at night Because any little touch turns it on"

"Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph."

"Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart."

"So I heard Rolf Harris got 5 years, 9 months... His favourite"

"My Grandad invented the roller coaster. But the cups just slide off the coffee table."

"The DJ just asked me ""How low can you go..."" So I slept with his wife and took custody of his kids."

"My pet peeve: ketchup bottle precum"