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Joke of the Day

"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?"

"Have you read the autobiography of the guy with two functioning penises? I don't know, I thought he came across as two cocky."

"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"

"A nerd walks in a Norwegian forest and asks his tour guide... so tell me, where are those YouTube trolls?"

"Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine? To cover up his bald spot."

"I went to a whorehouse the other day... The sign outside said ""We're closed so beat it"""

"I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down tweets at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark."

"No matter close I get to her when I do them, I cannot seem to startle my dog with my farts."