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Joke of the Day
"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"
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"I won't block you, but I will put a curse on you that you'll never be able to finish a sneeze ever again for the rest of your life."
"[interview] BOSS: Any special skills? ME: Skills? BOSS: Like strengths ME: Oh right. I'd say my vocabulary BOSS: Hm... ME: That means words"
"If you care about someone, even a little bit. I beg of you. Please. TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH."
"What do you call a deaf lesbian? Earmuff"
"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."
"A laugh track, but for every time my boss says ""I need this done today."""
"So i used to be terrible at asking for things in restaurants... I used to be too nervous to ask for condiments at restaurants... but one day i mustered the courage."
"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."
"Hey, hey...calm down please. Stop crying. I think all babies are ugly, not just yours."