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Joke of the Day
"Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee."
Next Joke
"How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair? You flip it upside down."
"Mars: ""hello."" Me: ""Is your water running."" Mars: ""yes."" Me: ""WELL YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!"""
"""Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."" In which case, there sure are a lot of amnesiacs on this subreddit."
"My wife and I only disagree on the small things, like the importance of my happiness and whether anything I say matters."
"I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided. I guess it must have been an obstacle illusion."
"Actual air attendant: ""Secure your mask before helping your kids.if you have multiple, pick the one with the highest earning potential 1st"""
"In 2009 we lost Michael Jackson. Now we lost Neil Armstrong. We are running out of moon walkers"
"My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?"
"Doctor Doctor I keep dreaming of bats creepy-crawlies demons ghosts monsters vampires werewolves and yetis. Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"