99463

Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep dreaming of bats creepy-crawlies demons ghosts monsters vampires werewolves and yetis. Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"

"What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time? ""Aye, there's the wub"""

"What did the jews not like about the Holocaust? The caust"

"Are all NASCAR fans fat with goatee's or is that just the women?"

"Why did the jalapeno put on a sweater? Because he was a little chile"

"For the last time... I'm not depressed. This is just how I eat."

"Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine."

"Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."

"Me; Right, some revision? Son: K Me: Start with chemistry? Him: K Me: Periodic table? Him: K Me:What's the symbol for potassium? Him: Dunno"

"I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy... ...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque."