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Joke of the Day

"Are you a beaver? ...'cuz damn."

"Have some self confidence Mexican restaurants. Take that hamburger off the menu."

"I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!"

"Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?"

"Donald Trump ""is intensely loyal...he will never let you down."" .... - his third wife"

"I'm glad we finally have a strong leader I mean Putin has how many years of experience? The states are in good Russian hands."

"I lost all my pokemon cards in a housefire.. All I have now is Ash."

"Did you know, some bees can produce milk? They're called boo-bees."

"Your date leans in and whispers ""I'm not wearing panties."" You shiver. She continues: ""I pooped a little and had to throw them away."""

"I tried phone sex last night Safe to say, I would prefer if you didn't call me during working hours until it goes flat."