76522

Joke of the Day

"Your date leans in and whispers ""I'm not wearing panties."" You shiver. She continues: ""I pooped a little and had to throw them away."""

"Why are X-wings so grubby? Rebel scum."

"How does a conceptual artist change a light bulb? He calls it a work of art."

"If you answer the phone and say ""Hello, you're on the air."" most telemarketers will hang up quickly."

"Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."

"What's the best drug to have sex on? Birth control."

"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""

"Funny Lance Armstrong Joke I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike."

"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"

"Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?"