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Joke of the Day

"I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!"

"How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die"

"What did Captain Ahab say when he harpooned a whale's tail fin on the first try? ""Well that was a fluke."""

"McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin"

"50 Shades of Grey banned by Indonesia. ""We cannot condone this depravity,"" said Muhammad Adul, accompanied by his 9-year-old wife."

"If you're a white guy and walk into Home Depot without wearing sunglasses on top of your head, they legally don't have to sell you anything."

"Women on twitter tell me my beard is hot Women in real life tell me where I can find food and shelter ."

"How come know-it-alls don't know how annoying they are?"

"Women, give them an inch and they'll want all eight."

"why do women wear makeup and perfume? They are ugly and they smell bad."