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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging? Take away it's credit cards."

"""A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."" Ayn Rand Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation slave owner."

"What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo? The attorney charges more."

"Is the KKK a good source of Potassium? Yes, because they're all bananas."

"ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless. ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway."

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem."

"What kind of movies do pirates watch? ARRRR Rated Movies!"

"Do these jorts stuffed with free breadsticks from Olive Garden make my thighs look oily?"

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."