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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging? Take away it's credit cards."

"Hey, hot stuff. Pretty sweet vagina you got there. Maybe later, after I unload the dishwasher, we can-No? That's cool. I have stuff to read."

"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"

"Why go to college? There's Google."

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"What is the difference between a divorce and a hurricane in the south? Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!"

"You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games."

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side!"

"I used to miss Mitch Hedburg I still do... But I used to, too. RIP"

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? 2:30."