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Joke of the Day

"You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To watch the mason lay a brick."

"So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it."

"I hate w.hen my period comes early"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog."

"I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old. I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor."

"What's black, has eight legs, and makes a woman scream? Gangrape"

"A complete list of movie roles turned down by Nicolas Cage:"

"Two people go to a Nickelback concert."

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."