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Joke of the Day

"I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating"

"The only difference between politics and religion is whether the hope is for this life, or the next."

"Two nuns in an alleyway Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a flasher jumps out. The first nun had a stroke but the second couldn't reach."

"You can learn a lot about a person just by watching them through binoculars 24 hours a day."

"Stranger man at the beach asked me, ""Y'all got a boat?"" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment."

"WHY DID THE HIPPOPOTAMUS NEED HIS VENTILIN? BECAUSE HE WAS HIPPOVENTILATING!"

"Mom, you bought me the wrong magazine! This isn't MAD, this is DISAPPOINTED!"

"what did the mod say when he used the bathroom? ""log out"""

"But how come Tarzan didn't have a beard?"

"Yo mama so fat in order to meet new carbon emissions regulations, we had to cap her ass"