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Joke of the Day

"Stranger man at the beach asked me, ""Y'all got a boat?"" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment."

"Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class"

"Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating... ""My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a condom."" ""Because she was on the pill."" ""Ambien."""

"After I have sex, I like my women how I like my mailbox outside my house"

"Sometimes I'll catch my reflection in a mirror and I'll be like, ""oh no, that can't be right."""

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just kick the shit out of the room for being black."

"Me: Babe will you love me when I'm old & fat. Wife: I sure do."

"I'm agender and that gender is male"

"What's the worst thing about a blowjob from an anorexic girl? They never swallow."

"Coworker: What's so funny M: Twitter Cw: Oh! I'm on there, what's your @ M: I meant twizzlers.. Cw: You're looking at your phone. M:..."