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Joke of the Day

"Stranger man at the beach asked me, ""Y'all got a boat?"" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment."

"what was Joan of Arc's hidden talent? She could really cook."

"Children are like AIDS They are sexually transmitted, incurable till death and they fuck up your sex lives."

"went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser"

"My daughter swam with dolphins for $2,000. I think she should've been able to have sex with them for that price."

"Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity... No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes."

"Joke How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? Answer: you take the S out of Safe and the F out of way."

"Know why I make my pot brownies with chocolate laxatives? For shits and giggles."

"Whats the square root of 69? Ate something"

"Can someone tell Buzz that it's impossible to go beyond infinity, guy's pretty stupid for an astronaut."