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Joke of the Day

"The only difference between politics and religion is whether the hope is for this life, or the next."

"Look, lady, you can either be disappointed that I have an average penis, or excited that I have a GIGANTIC micropenis."

"An optician fell into his lens grinder... and made a spectacle of himself."

"i get disappointed every time a catholic school's mascot isn't the fightin' jesuses (jesi?)"

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many."

"If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!"

"Wifi was down so had to talk to my gf. She seems nice."

"What's a pirates favourite letter? Ye think it be the R, but 'tis the C."

"Two cannibals eating a clown. One of them says to the other: does this taste funny to you?"

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."