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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a mormon and a raptor? A Utahraptor"

"Fiance' works at an old folks home and said that they had the heater up to far all day. I guess you can say that she was... Sweating with the Oldies!"

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."

"YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... GODZILLA Yo' Mama is so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure."

"Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York"

"Sometimes I order Domino's but give them Pizza Hut's address. And when they show up and start fighting, just wait with my mouth open."

"What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar? ""AU, get outta here!"""

"When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I wasn't prepared for all the changes I'd have to make... ...like my name, phone number, job, city where I live..."

"How do you capture a polar bear? Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**"

"What doesn't kill you isn't earning the money I paid."