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Joke of the Day

"When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I wasn't prepared for all the changes I'd have to make... ...like my name, phone number, job, city where I live..."

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"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and line the edge with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."
"Did you know the Mods on this sub are actually cows? Evidence listed below. [remooved]"
"What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court? Annette."
"When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing."
"We now return to 'CANADIAN SNIPER' *canadian sniper shoots an enemy* *canadian sniper yells 'sorry' from far away*"
"What is Asia's favourite sitcom? Everybody loves Ramen."
"Breaking: Man stabbed and killed Morgan Freeman 's granddaughter"
"Why do Jewish people have big noses Because air is free"
"somebody took my dog while we were waiting in line at the vet i cried out ""Somebody stole my Spot!!"""