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Joke of the Day
"YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... GODZILLA Yo' Mama is so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure."
Next Joke
"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"
"I could never be a hardcore gangsta rapper because there's probably a limit to how much you can enjoy a scone in public."
"Who is Ric Flair's favorite director? John WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I'm impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?"
"My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person"
"I hate when I'm singing and some idiot thinks they can join in with me... this is not Glee."
"Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico"
"Whenever someone tells me ""make yourself at home"" at their house, I always clog their toilet"
"[god in a bad mood but insisting he's fine] I wanna make some changes to what we made yesterday ""but the spider is done"" Im adding 6 legs"