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Joke of the Day

"I always carry a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say ""I like your haircut"", I can respond with, ""Thanks, here, have some."""

Next Joke
 
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it"
"Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america? Because that would be illeagle"
"you stole my electron atom 1: you stole my electron. atom 2: sure? atom 1: positive!"
"What do you call a cat with an eating disorder? A cat."
"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."
"What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings."
"Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook."
"Check-writing-grocery-line lady. No-turn-signal-SUV guy. Recline-seat-into-your-lap man. They're all voting tomorrow. Let's cancel them out."
"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo! (I heard this one today and thought I'd share)"