54406

Joke of the Day

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

Next Joke
 
"""Are you watching porn again??"" No way! This is an episode of 'How It's Made' about people."
"Why did the zombie turtle have so much trouble dancing? Rigor tortoise."
"The Wright Way ""I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."" -Steven Wright"
"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""
"You gotta wet it first, doesn't work dry. The wetter the better. -whistling you perverts"
"What the hell is this REstraining Order?!? I never even got a Straining Order? I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out."
"You say pervert with a telescope. I say biological astronomer."
"I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high... ...I thought, I can't turn this down!"
"From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, ""Hmm... I've seen better."""