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Joke of the Day
"I sustained a serious neck injury a few years ago... ...and I've never looked back."
Next Joke
"What did the painter do when he was angry? He made a scene."
"I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial"
"My friend really likes to have sex with people. I guess it's the teenage whoremones."
"DOCTOR: a new study says the meds ur on cause hallucinations ME: oh LARGE MENACING CACTUS THAT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE: was it peer reviewed?"
"The worst straw man argument in history was when Sir Mix-a-Lot pretended that some guys hate butts."
"""Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she's not herself."" *grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*"
"Last year, Taylor Swift went on a world tour called TS 1989 That must've been an awkward stop in Beijing"
"What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce..."
"Why do 95% of black males like sex in the shower? The other 5% aren't in jail."