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Joke of the Day

"My friend really likes to have sex with people. I guess it's the teenage whoremones."

"Why did the librarian hush the mime? Because actions speak louder than words."

"Instead of being buried or cremated, I've arranged to be liquidized. I'm not going to a funeral if I can't get drunk."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay fifty bucks for a lentil on my chest."

"Explained to my client that he shouldn't put ""urgent"" in the subject line of every email he sends. He now sends some as ""urgent urgent""."

"When auto correct changes your 'omg' to OMG, alright calm your tits i wasn't that shocked."

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls, they're under a buck!"

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift. Edit: Someone didn't like the word guys in it"

"When do men insist that women are illogical? When a woman doesn't agree with them."

"Lol (sorry for my bad english)"