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Joke of the Day
"What did the painter do when he was angry? He made a scene."
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"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father... Not screaming like his passengers."
"What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas."
"Why is Lance Armstrong a good citizen? Because he is always recycling"
"What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch? Namaste"
"How to ask for a raise Employee: Sir, I really need a salary increment, 4 companies are after me. Boss: Which 4? Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card."
"Which musician is the most generous? Cher"
"Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head"
"How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But only for procreation."
"I was going to say a gay joke... butt fuck it."