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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just broke up with me... ...it's all cool though, she said we could still remain cousins."

"today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle"

"What did the amazed Kazakhstani say? That's Astana-shing"

"[looking at pics] Where's that? -Hawaii Where's that? -Jamaica Daddy where was I? -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'?"

"Youtube criticism police in a nutshell No."

"waiter and customer Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"

"Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up."

"Heard the one about the corduroy pillowcase? It's making headlines."

"Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one."

"So I entered an astronomy contest the other day... ...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)"