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Joke of the Day

"Heard the one about the corduroy pillowcase? It's making headlines."

"Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?"

"What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan? Not being from Detroit."

"Woman goes to the vet because her Great Dane keeps jumping on her when she is in the shower... VET: Ok, so want him Neutered? Woman: No, declawed."

"Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction? It's called Lake Flaccid."

"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."

"If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don't want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim's"

"Did you hear the one about to car that lost its tires? Apparently it was in a wheel hurry."

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the Batmobile."