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Joke of the Day

"So I entered an astronomy contest the other day... ...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)"

"I hate when people say my skirt looks slutty.. Like, who cares if my balls hang out a little?"

"Hope Today I saw a Chinese baby and a Black baby wave at each other. It gives me hope for the future. Or at least another Rush Hour movie."

"What does Vincent say when he's annoyed at someone? Fuck Gogh"

"To a murderer, we're all jailbait."

"*air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."" *air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."""

"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest person on the planet."

"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."

"[meeting with boss] ""I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday."" ""I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"""

"Women - What is the similarity between women and garbagebags? - You fill them up and toss them out the door!"