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Joke of the Day

"What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor? Reptiles."

"The doctors were concerned... ..about my headaches, so they sent me for a brain scan. They found nothing. Still concerned, they gave me an IQ test. The results were negative."

"My biggest complaint about Batman v Superman is how the movie always just assumes you know which one is which."

"A joke my religion teacher told to our class Roses are red, Violets are blue-ish, If it wasn't for Jesus, We all would be Jewish!"

"Congratulations on ""obtaining"" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge."

"I'am drinking with my new GF and her gay friend from work. So there's 100% chance I'am getting laid and a 50% chance I'll like it."

"Do you know why I have airplane-mode turned on on my phone all the time? 'Cause I'm so fly"

"What do you call the beautiful women in Australia... Tourists."

"What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours"

"As a guy... being sexually frustrated must be hard."