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Joke of the Day

"As a guy... being sexually frustrated must be hard."

"""Brokeback Mountain"" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard."

"Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks? Because he got a hole in one!"

"Turned off autocorrect and I've never been happyer."

"ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary"

"What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me"

"Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it"

"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"

"I Have plenty of girls who can suck, I'm looking for the one who can blow my mind."

"What's the advantage to fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free"