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Joke of the Day

"The doctors were concerned... ..about my headaches, so they sent me for a brain scan. They found nothing. Still concerned, they gave me an IQ test. The results were negative."

"What's the difference between a microwave and anal sex? A microwave doesn't brown your meat"

"My Wife made me choose between her, and my Love of Pointing out Doors ""If you want to leave"" I told her, ""There's the Door"""

"Apple's CEO Tim Cook has announced he is gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow he is waaay gayer."

"My first job in retail taught me that the customer is always right. Until they're out of earshot."

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but an extra 15 to repost."

"Finally, I got the model wife I always wanted Unfortunately she's a plus size model"

"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."

"Ladies, if Men had PMS they'd get into fist fights, defraud partners, start wars, abuse women, stop paying child support..HEY-wait a minute!"

"Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank."